Long before I changed careers and began working from home, I was a family counselor in the chemical dependency field. We worked with patients and their families to identify dysfunctional family patterns that were keeping them stuck.
One of the things we learned is that families developed certain roles that they played within the family and then, without meaning to, carried those roles out into the rest of their lives.
With each new family that came in, one of the roles I was most interested to identify amongst our new group was the lost child, because that was the role I most often played in my own family.
The lost child is the one in the family most likely to be overlooked. On a trip, if they stop for a bathroom break, this is the child they will forget. Lost children are quiet, withdrawing their energy because they believe they will be safer if they aren’t noticed. Unfortunately, they often become so good at being invisible that they continue doing it unconsciously, even after they have left home and become adults.
“Because they are so often overlooked, they feel lonely, depressed and rejected. They frequently have difficulty connecting with others and prefer to be alone….Because they try so hard to stay invisible, they are often overlooked by people who might be able to help them.” -The Center on Addiction and the Family, Brooklyn, N.Y.
Were you a lost child? Are you still hiding out as an adult?
This article is the fifth in a series about healing life lessons, called “How to Get Out of Your Own Way”. Though you won’t know for sure what your life lessons are without having your hands read, you can see if this issue feels familiar to you and pursue healing for it if it does.
Using hand analysis, we can examine your fingerprints to determine both your life purpose and your life lessons. Life lessons are the challenges you need to overcome in order to inhabit and live your life purpose fully. Here you have been wounded in the area of being visible and letting your light shine in the world. This life lesson is about boredom, apathy, and blocked creativity, sometimes to the extent that you deny having it.
There also may be a sense of not fitting in, of not belonging. Healing those wounds would mean breaking through the fear that is binding you, finding your voice and stepping into your spotlight. To heal what blocks your self-expression so that you can put yourself out there in a way that fits your life purpose.
Here are some journal questions for reflection…
– Does the description of this issue feel familiar to you?
– What are some lost child experiences you had that are examples of this life lesson?
– If you hadn’t played the lost child role, how might your life be different?
– What are some memories from your past where the story might have been different if you hadn’t played this role? Re-write those stories, giving them the ending you think they would have had, instead.
– In what way is your life today still affected by this issue?
– Describe how your life might change if you were able to stop playing this role?
Now that you are more aware of the way this issue has been a challenge in your life, the next step is finding the memories and beliefs connected to it that need healing. Then you can find and choose a healing technique that fits for you.